Hai hai…

It feels a bit strange to write this again. Empat bulan tanpa suara hati, tanpa arah, tanpa productivity checklist—less posts, less updates, not even a “lagi sibuk kok.”
And no, I didn’t disappear because I lost my ikigai. Justru sebaliknya… I was taking care of it. Quietly. Kadang kita pikir kalau kita nggak terlihat, berarti kita berhenti.But sometimes, being quiet is part of the process.

The Honest Part: Wellness is… Tiring.
We often romanticize wellness. Morning routines, journaling, healing era, soft life. Semuanya kelihatan calm, intentional, put together. But no one really talks about how exhausting it is to maintain that version of oneself.

To always be aware.
To always be intentional.
To always be growing.

Capek nggak sih? At some point, I realized… I wasn’t just living.
I was performing wellness.
Dan jujur, itu melelahkan.

So I stopped.

The Moment I fell : Without Drama
It wasn’t one big breakdown. Nggak ada momen dramatis yang “wah banget.”
Just small things, piling up.

Deadlines. Expectations. Noise.
And strangely… happiness too. Yes, happiness.

Because when life feels full, kadang kita nggak merasa perlu untuk explain everything.
I was living. Not documenting. Lagi menikmati hidup tanpa harus share ke siapa-siapa.
And somehow, writing started to feel heavy. Seperti ada pressure untuk selalu punya sesuatu untuk dikatakan.

So I went quiet.

What Silence Taught Me : About Ikigai

Dulu aku pikir ikigai itu tentang consistency. Showing up every day. Creating. Sharing. Growing.
But now… I see it differently.

Ikigai is not about never stopping. It’s about always coming back.

Even after you disappear.
Even after you feel a bit lost.
Even after you outgrow your old self.

Sesungguhnya, break itu bukan tanda gagal. It’s just… part of the rhythm. Setuju?

Apa Nih Yang Berubah Dariku di 2026 ini?

1. I stopped chasing productivity as proof of worth
Sekarang aku nggak lagi ngerasa harus selalu “productive” biar merasa cukup. Not everything needs to be visible to be valuable.

2. I’m more comfortable being unseen
No posting feed. No explaining. Just… existing. Dan ternyata, itu cukup.

3. I learned that joy doesn’t always need words
Some moments are better felt than shared.

Nggak semua harus jadi konten. Ya kan? Bahkan late story pun still contains a story. Lol.

4. I choose to return—not because I have to, but because I want to
Dan itu rasanya beda banget. Jujur, lebih ringan. Dan lebih apa adanya aku.

So here I am.

Not with the tips. Not with a perfect system.
Not even with a “new version of me.”

Just… me.

I didn’t disappear to find my ikigai. I disappeared to protect it.

And today, aku memilih untuk menulis lagi. Memulai lagi. Dengan apa yang aku rasa, bagaimana aku rasa dan kejujuran yang aku bawa.

Not because I have to— but because I’m ready.

So ya, terima kasih. I am fine.
Sedang berusaha kembali ke track. Pelan – pelan.

Sedang menikmati Slow Living di Salatiga, first quarter 2026 ini. Bayangkan, ada 100 kafe di Salatiga dan masih sering bingung mau ngafe dimana. ❤️